You can stop yelling at your kids and start enjoying motherhood again. One mom’s journey and the powerful way she stopped yelling at her kids and started enjoying motherhood again!
NO TIME NOW? PIN IT FOR LATER!
staying at home isn’t a picnic but you can find joy as a mom
Some women just make staying home with your kids look like a walk in the park.
But for you it feels more like Jurassic Park, doesn’t it?
Their kids match and are well-behaved. She looks like Mary Poppins herself – practically perfect in every way.
You’re just dog tired. Like completely exhausted. Mentally, physically, and emotionally.
raised your voice screamed at your kiddos to get in the car just to come to the park. On top of all the exhaustion, now you feel ashamed.
As you sit and watch your kiddos running around the park, laughing hysterically, and making new friends, you just mindlessly push your baby on the swing wondering:
Is motherhood supposed to be this hard?
How do those moms do it?
What kind of Mom-ster am I that I yell at my kids like I do?
the real reason you feel like a bad mom
And that’s where you discover the issue: you’d feel like a better mom if you didn’t yell so much. First, Sister, I’m here to tell you that you’re not alone and you can do something about it.
Yelling doesn’t have to be a part of your daily life as a mom and you don’t have to feel resentful toward your kiddo.
I spent way too much time yelling. Not about everything. But too loud (and after a while, too often). My problem was thinking that it was my daughter who needed to change.
I found myself feeling resentful toward my Sweet Firefly – who turned out to be anything but sweet when she heard ‘No.’
Truth be told, she was more sassy than sweet and more prickly than pleasant.
Even still, things didn’t get easier until I realized the problem was me.
It’s been a long journey of many lessons (a post way too long to fit all here). But here’s a glimpse of my journey and the lessons I’ve learned along the way.
what if this is the real way to get you to stop yelling at your kids
My heart toward my Sweet Firefly was the ultimate problem. I wanted her to be obedient – a first-time, every-time listener. But she wanted to share her ideas and follow her own plans (which were always different than mine).
As I dug into the BIble, I began finding verses that really spoke to my heart about parenting but weren’t about parenting at all!
In God’s kindness, He spoke so gently to this mama’s hurting heart and soul – teaching me and changing me.
Sister, you may need to check your heart, too – rather let the Lord do it. Spend some time with Him and He will show you.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV)
what happens after you recognize the real issue
You’ve felt guilty for a long time. Probably shed your fair share of tears (and snot to accompany that ugly cry).
But you don’t actually feel guilty.
What you actually feel is shame. There is a difference.
Those thoughts of “I’m such a bad mom” and “If I were a good Christian, I wouldn’t do that.” (Well, that second statement is a whole other post but we’ll just leave it there for now.)
Neither of those things is true. Doing something bad and being someone bad is not the same. What you need to remind yourself of is grace and what the Bible says about it!
so how do you stop yelling when you’re angry?
Changing your heart is the first step. Now, it’s time to change your habits.
And sister, all of this is a difficult process. And it doesn’t continue on an easy path through some flowery meadows.
It’s more like climbing Mt. Everest. You’re going to do some hard stuff and then feel super adrenaline-fueled and accomplished. Right after that, you’re going to swear your child has been possessed.
All of this is normal. Tough days aren’t completely absent but we’ve both grown up a little.
What you need to do is start a plan, fill your bat-belt much like the superhero you are. Plan ahead with these tactics and take a deep breath. In fact, try some of these techniques to keep your anger at bay.
They even work when you’re out in public. Talk about feeling like you’re being held hostage! Dang. I totally understand why that old guy in the news slapped the kid. (Not saying I would do it…I just understand.)
But for real, why aren’t we helping moms instead of judging them?
I want you to know I’m on your side, Sister!
While you’re sitting there wondering how you can ever enjoy your sweet kiddo again, I’m here, on the other side, telling you it is possible.
It’s possible to move past the resentment, friend.
It’s possible to have joy in motherhood.
It’s even possible to bring peace back into your parenting and into your home.
Even though it takes time, you can get there. I enjoy my Sweet Firefly so much more now and you can enjoy your strong-willed child, too!
if you find yourself wondering if you can have peace in this parenting journey…
First, you need to know you are a good mom.
How do I know this?
You’re soaking in all the info you can to be a better mom. Whether it’s learning from another mama who’s been where you are, reading the best possible resources for mamas, or taking the Taming Your Inner Mom-ster: Bring Joy Back to Motherhood email challenge, you’re doing what is necessary to be the mama your kiddo needs.
You’re not giving up!
You, my friend, are a good mom. Go ahead and say it – say it until you believe it.
It’s not just an affirmation.
You need to meditate on these things – these Biblical truths.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8 (NIV)
Feeling like a better mom and having the relationship you long for with your kiddo is right around the corner. You can stop yelling at your kids. You can have the home and life you want as a mom. It’s a never-ending journey with victories and pitfalls but you will never be defeated as long as you don’t give up.
And if I can do it, surely you can too!